Christian Etiquette
How ought Christians live together?
Behave Yourself
My kids have begun their etiquette training. I assume that means learning table manners, where to place the fork, and all that. But, it got me thinking about manners. Once upon a time, we learned how to conduct ourselves in both the home and the schoolhouse. We can argue about whether that’s being done anymore and why, and believe me I have thoughts, but the point is we had to learn. Cohabitation doesn’t come naturally because sin has not only broken our relationship with God but also with one another. However, that means that just as our union to Christ has restored our relationship with God, being united to Christ means we are thus united to each other. So then the Christian life is a life in communion with other local Christians covenanted together. And we need to be taught how to live together.
The Christian life, in regards to our communion with one another, is characterized by two things: duties and delights.
If you are a Christian you have duties to fulfill and delights to enjoy.
This brings me to the topic of this newsletter. Last week our planting team finished Duties of Christian Fellowship by John Owen. It is a foundational book that outlines very simply and practically the etiquette that Christians ought to embody.
If you want my review of the book, I know you’re dying to hear it, it’s a 5/5. Every Christian should read this. In fact, when we begin building in membership intake for our church this will be given to every potential member. It will define what it means to be a member of Coram Deo Baptist Church.
The book covers two important categories. The first is rules that orient your relationship with your pastor. The second is rules that orient your relationship with your fellow churchmen. Both of these categories frame up the duties and delights of each.
For most, especially in the PNW, the idea of rules (even greater, rules for CHURCH!) is an invitation to immediate objection. We don’t like rules. We definitely don’t like being told what to do. And it is exactly this rebellious and ultimately god-less attitude that has afflicted the church today. In an effort to escape the boogieman of “fundamentalism” we’ve jettisoned any notion of rules. But, it isn’t really rules that we’ve tossed out it’s authority entirely. We’ve made ourselves the authority on everything. We are judge, jury, and executioner. Because of this, in some respect, we show up to church however we want or deem best.
It’s not all doom and gloom, many show up sincere and well-intentioned. However, every relationship we have, and any longstanding meaningful one, is guarded by rules. Often unspoken. Marriage has rules, friendships have rules, parenting has rules, employment has rules, Costco has rules (how much greater is the assembly of the saints in the presence of God than Costco!). They guard and guide the relationship for the agreed upon good of two parties. It is in this book that we see that God too has defined His people by what John Owen deems as rules. We could call it a code of conduct. If we call ourselves a Christian we must act like it. If it quacks like a heathen and walks like a heathen, it’s a heathen. This book gives Christians the plain instruction drawn directly from Scripture that is binding on any who profess Christ and should characterize every church body.
Why is this important?
1| The Glory of God
“to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever. Amen.”
- Ephesians 3:21
The purpose of the church, heck the purpose of everything, is the glory of God. But, how much greater is that purpose made manifest in the people of God assembled to worship Him! He is made visible in the love that is expressed in affectionate care for one another.
When Christians live like the world, regard each other with indifference or bitterness, it brings reproach on the name of Christ and impedes God’s glory. It scorches the church’s witness as a light on the hill.
2| The Flourishing of God’s People
“So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
- Galatians 6:10
God is glorified when we do good to one another. Scripture is replete with instruction to this end. The beauty of God’s glory is that it IS our good. When we obey Christ as our King and brother, turning our affections towards one another in caring concern, bearing with one another, and watching out for each other’s soul, we bring Him glory and do ourselves immeasurable good.
We understand this intrinsically. This is why it hurts so much when we are hurt in a church, because we know it shouldn’t be that way. Part of what causes the opportunity or at least removes accountability for that hurt is when a church has no code of conduct. They have no rules for Christian life together. Where there are no rules there is no guard or guide to protect and nurture human flourishing. This is a main reason why church membership is so important.
3| The Compelling Community
“By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.”
- John 13:35
This is not an indiscriminate love. This is not a careless or carefree love. This is an intentional and curated love. It’s not fake, it’s rooted in something more real than anything else: the love we’ve received in God.
When we are fueled by the love we’ve received to love one another it causes others to turn their heads. It makes the sweet aroma of Christ catch the wind. When people visit and see the 97 year old widow visiting with the college student from Japan, or the children being held during worship by another church member, it is compelling.
They will reject us for our Truth, but let them heap hot coals on their heads by our love. Let them be drawn in by the beauty of the Gospel applied to a PEOPLE, or let them suffer the self-inflicted wounds of knowing what they walk away from. The church ought to be the most loving and beautiful community on earth. It is an actual slice of heaven.
Conclusion
The church is not a social club or community interest group. It is truly a family, defined by rules wrought in love by our God who unites us. It is the most compelling place where all the longings of the heart ought to find their fulfillment first in Christ then through His hands and feet, the church.
Buy this book. Read it. Re-read it. Or come to Coram Deo we give copies away and seek to embody the biblical and beatific vision of the church for God’s glory and our good.
UPCOMING EVENTS
SEPTEMBER 3rd | 11AM
Bushnell Event
Coram Deo will be present at the Freshmen event at Bushnell. We are hopeful that we will be able to make meaningful connections and get them connected to a local church while they’re here for school. College is a formative time for young adults and education is only a small part of that.
SEPTEMBER 12th | 4-10PM
Springfield Block Party
Coram Deo Baptist Church is planning to have a presence at the Springfield Block Party. It shuts down 10 blocks of downtown Springfield, right where we gather on Sundays, and hosts thousands of people.
This is going to be a great opportunity for us to raise awareness about the church and hopefully extend many many invitations to join us on Sundays. If you would like to come and support us at this event please reach out!
SEPTEMBER 12
Riviera Baptist Church Yard Sale Fundraiser3071 River Road, Eugene, OR 97404
RBC is hosting a yard sale fundraiser to support us at Coram Deo Baptist Church. They will be donating the proceeds to our plant. An incredible labor of love! If you want to donate or stop by to shop reach out to RBC.
SUNDAY SERMON
Sunday we saw how Christ identified with the fulfillment of God’s promise to Abraham and Jacob, as well as the vision of the Son of Man in Daniel. Seeing how Christ fulfilled God’s promises should stir up our faith.
RESOURCES
If you want a sneak peak at what I’m reading right now, and will likely write about later, check this book out: Prizing Public Worship by David Clarkson (another Puritan)
PRAYER REQUESTS
Pray for my family as we had an extended family member die last night. He is with the Lord now, but no doubt will leave much grief for us.
Pray for wisdom as we connect with another church from Sweet Home (Elm St. Baptist). One of their elders visited us Sunday which was such a delight.
Pray for dear friends from RBC James, Emma, and their baby girl. Two of them have COVID including the baby so it’s gonna be some sleepless nights ahead. Additionally, they had a loss in the family last week.
